Classic TV Comedy schedule

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Wild and crazy guy Steve Martin does card tricks, George Foreman talks winning the heavyweight championship and Johnny details his valentine from Don Rickles. Sandy Duncan and Binnie Barnes also appear.

Johnny gives questionable amounts of respect to Rodney Dangerfield, then reasonable amounts of respect to Dom Deluise, Orson Bean, and Mariette Hartley.

George Carlin sticks only to words you CAN say on TV. Plus, Rita Reutter is an older sex symbol, McLean Stevenson had a date with the Rose Bowl Queen and Martina Navratilova is the best tennis player in the world.

Carol Burnett reveals her Hollywood idols, Tim Conway details losing his car at a party and Johnny discusses The Joy Of Sex. Plus, Robert Easton and Tracee Talavera appear.

Louise Jefferson returns for a visit at the Bunker's place to ask Edith if she can sell her (Louise's) former house. Edith doubts but Archie makes her agree so that they (mostly he) can choose white people to move in.

When Archie's brother, Fred, visits Archie to open up a business, he also brings his 18 year old wife, Katherine. Both, Archie and Edith, and even Stephanie, are shocked as they find out. Archie and Fred argue about Katherine's age.

Stephanie's father, Floyd, finally arrives with a devastating proposition for the Bunkers: They can keep Stephanie if they agree to pay him $1000 cash!

On Archie's St. Patrick's Day Party at the tavern, he discovers that Edith is terribly ill after doing a lot of cooking for him. Sidney comes to the rescue and is able to save Edith before it's too late.

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house...was chaos, Maude's holiday celebration seems to be turning out quite differently than she planned.

Maude's excitement over getting rid of an expensive white elephant turns to terror when she gets an offer she 'can't' refuse.

Maude is shocked and outraged when she receives a series of obscene phone calls, but her biggest shock is yet to come when she discovers who's on the other end.

Everyone gets into the act when Maude recruits her family and friends to sing and dance for a questionable charity telethon on the annual musical.

When a fire breaks out in a restaurant where they are dining, Maude and Vivian escape with only surface bruises, but Walter has to cope with a much deeper psychological scar.

Maude is thunderstruck when the Ethiopian foster child she's supported for 20 years comes to America and turns out to be quite different from what she expected.

Toody and Muldoon run into trouble as they attempt to cook swordfish on an officer's brother's boat.

The precinct buys a gift for Abrams to celebrate his 25 years with the service.

Toody and his wife take an ex-con under their wing and try to rehabilitate him as he lives with them.

Muldoon is given a new partner.

When a lady learns that her apartment complex has been condemned, she works her charm in order to trick them into letting her stay.

The Muldoons take in Theresa Tangere in order to shield her from the critical public eye. However, Francis begins to fall for her.

The precinct tries to thwart a group of car thieves.

Lucille tries to match Muldoon up with a spinster woman.

Toody gets a spell placed on him by a gypsy when he tries to uncover her theft ring.

The Toody's give their landlord their thirty days notice before leaving.

Toody and Muldoon catch Hugh Downs speeding.

Gunther wishes that his wife, Lucille, would be more submissive to him, but ends up getting more than he bargained for.

With his duties as department treasurer, Toody chooses to invest the money in the stock market.

Muldoon is tricked into robbing a bank.

When his television breaks, Toody decides to spend his free time reading instead.

The Whippoorwills enter themselves in a contest.

Railroad executive Homer Bedloe shows up again with a new scheme to get the Cannonball discontinued.

Kate decides to contest a jaywalking ticket she receives in Pixley.

Uncle Joe's entry into the beekeeping business disrupts newlyweds Steve and Betty JO Elliott.

Newlywed Betty Jo encourages her husband Steven to become an apple polisher to secure a lucrative crop--dusting contract.

A feud develops over the Bradley family dog's apparently divided loyalty.

Uncle Joe takes over the Shady Rest and is almost run out of town for allegedly tossing out an old tenant for non-payment of rent.

Sergeant Carter tries to make Gomer dislike him before graduation, feeling that he hasn't done his job correctly if he isn't hated by ALL the recruits.

While in town on pass Sgt. Carter decides to play a joke on Gomer by setting him on a quest to get a kiss from "The Dragon Lady" but in order for it to work he will need Duke's help.

It's Survival Training for the platoon: two-man teams must rough it for five days. Thinking Gomer will bring down the platoon's rating, Sgt. Carter takes him for his partner.

Gomer and his fellow Marines are headed into town on day passes when one of them is stuck on guard duty.

While hitching a ride to town Gomer stops to help a stranded motorist, she takes him into town to meet her mother. A robber is holding up liquor stores while wearing a Marine's uniform at the same time.

A mix-up leads Carter to believe Gomer's dying.

Gomer's conned into signing a contract for dancing lessons.

Lisa visits Oliver's mother who is recovering from an illness. The doctor advises that she rest in a peaceful environment...and thinks that Hooterville sounds absolutely ideal! Of course, he doesn't know Hooterville, where peace is never…very close.

When Oliver (Eddie Albert) discovers that Hooterville has a still-valid contract to build war planes, he spearheads the opening of a new government defense plant. But as chaos ensues, Oliver soon wonders if the move was a big mistake after all.

Lisa is appointed as head of Hooterville's new Human Humane committee. A perfect fit for animal-lover Lisa, and a relief from her boredom in the countryside, she soon has a menagerie of both farm and exotic animals living at Green Acres.

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